Speaking with confidence: 7 forms of self-confidence in a foreign language

It is not always the people with the most knowledge of a foreign language who do the talking. Stammering and with a large dose of charm, they seem to get a long way, while those who really do have knowledge of the language (colleague, partner, son or daughter) mainly listen and feel embarrassed about all the mistakes or are a little jealous. 

Confidence is one of the most important ingredients for speaking a foreign language. There are seven forms of confidence that influence how freely you communicate in another language. Which forms have you already developed and where do you still lack courage?

Are you familiar with this situation: you are in a meeting and understand everything that is being said. You also know exactly what you want to say. As the conversation continues, your words keep spinning around in your head. Are the words correct? And then the conversation moves on to something else...

You are probably familiar with the term “fear of speaking”. You would rather have the courage to speak. Many people wait to say something until they feel their wording is flawless. You don't learn to speak by waiting. The courage to speak comes when you allow yourself to move forward while talking.

Question: When do you allow yourself to say something in a foreign language? How long does it take before something feels “good enough” to you?

To be sure of yourself, you choose simple wording. Even though you actually had a wonderful phrase in your head. You usually only find out whether it is completely correct when you say it out loud. And so you decide not to.

If you dare to make mistakes, you accept that learning can be visible. Those who are afraid of mistakes will simplify or avoid them. That says nothing about your language level, but everything about the space you give yourself. It is precisely by allowing mistakes that movement is created and you can move forward.

Question: What would happen if you allowed yourself to express yourself imperfectly? How often do you express yourself less than perfectly in English?

Imagine you are making a proposal. In your native language, this is no problem at all, but in another language, you may play it safe and stick closer to the essentials, without explaining your vision in detail. Not because you don't have one, but because you doubt your ability to convey it convincingly.

You come across as professional in a foreign language if you can convey your message convincingly and with nuance. That confidence in your professional communication skills grows when you experience that your message remains intact in a foreign language.

Question: When do you feel that you are convincing in your native language? What does it take to feel the same way in a foreign language?

Before you speak, you weigh your words. How direct can I be in this culture? Is a joke appropriate here, or would it be better to remain serious? You don't want to make a cultural faux pas by saying something that is inappropriate in that situation.

Are you confident that you can navigate another culture well? Knowledge of cultural codes makes it easier to speak and respond.

Question: In which situations are you particularly concerned about how you come across?

Does this sound familiar? You enter into a conversation and can't find the right words. You stumble over your phrasing. And then you realise that you could have prevented this by preparing yourself beforehand...

You will enter a conversation with more confidence if you think in advance about appropriate words and phrases you can use. This gives you a foothold and ensures that you don't hesitate during a conversation.

Question: What gives you a foothold in a conversation? How can you prepare for that?

Sometimes you find yourself talking to someone who speaks very quickly and also has an accent that is difficult to understand. Have you understood everything correctly? Do you bluff your way through the conversation or do you dare to ask for clarification?

In a conversation, you can always slow down. Ask questions and check what you think you have heard. You may think that this shows that you do not master the language. In fact, it shows that you are listening actively. 

Question: What prevents you from asking for clarification when necessary?

You say what is necessary and keep it correct. You come across clearly, but stick to safe formulations. In your own language, you have your own style that people appreciate. You may be funny, witty or sociable. How does that sound in another language and culture? Which words and formulations are typical of you?

It takes a while before you can be authentic in another language. Through experimentation, you can slowly shape your own voice. A voice that fits within another culture and yet is very authentic to you.

Question: Who are you in your native language, and who can you be in another language?

So, what do you think? Where do you think you can make the most progress? What type of self-confidence do you need most in order to speak without inhibitions?